February Reflection
When the Spark Doesn’t Settle the Longing
what we find when we stop searching outside ourselves
Hello Beautiful Community!!!
Here we are, already moving through February. This month often highlights romantic love, especially through Valentine’s Day tradition devoted to affection and visible expression of love like flowers, cards, shared meals, and quiet gestures.
It had me thinking about how deeply we long to connect.
Romantic Love is meaningful. It awakens us. It carries electricity and excitement, reminding us we can feel deeply. But as the pink and red fade away and the sweetness settles, I find myself reflecting on love in a different way.
This season brings to mind another kind of love for me. Not the love we receive from someone else. Not the love that depends on being chosen, but the love that has always been within us.
A quieter, deeper, and steadier kind of love. A love that often goes unnamed, and this is the love I want to talk about.
This love is not conceptual; it is felt. Something that existed before language and remains beyond it. It is not earned, yet it can often feel out of reach. Not because it isn't there, but because layers of pain, protection, and stories about who we had to become have concealed it.
The love I am speaking of is not found by searching outside of ourselves; it emerges when we stop fighting ourselves.
When we can stay present with what hurts instead of pushing it away.
When we allow ourselves to feel what we have been bracing against
When we sit compassionately with the grief, the fear, the disappointment, the unmet longing.
When we slow down and are present with what is.
When we bring compassion to the places that feel unlovable.
In such softening, a love that does not judge, measure, or withdraw begins to be felt.
Romantic love is a beautiful and meaningful part of our human experience. But the love that I am speaking of does not depend on romance. Romantic love, however, changes when it is rooted in something deeper. When we already feel love within, it becomes less of a search for something missing and more of an overflow of what already is.
Both matter.
Perhaps February is not only about celebrating love outwardly. Perhaps it is an invitation to soften inwardly and sit with what has been in the way, meet it with compassion, and discover that the love we long for has been here all along.
The question is not if this love exists. The question is, are we willing to slow down enough to feel it and be with it?
This doesn’t mean we won't feel pain again. We will. Grief will come. Fear will come, and old stories will surface. But something changes when we are willing to stay.
The dance between love and pain will continue throughout our lives. But we begin to realize they are not opposites. Love is what allows us to stay with pain. And pain, when held with compassion, reveals love.
I want to acknowledge that it is easy to speak about slowing down and being compassionate with ourselves. Harder to practice when discomfort is rising. And as always, I’m grateful to be walking this path alongside you. Feel free to share what this is bringing up for you; your insights are always welcome here.
With love,
Michaela